Phases and Cycles

It's still grey and rainy here. Yesterday afternoon we had a brief reprieve with sunny skies. It's not that I don't love the rain; I do. It just makes me feel like curling up with a good book (or a honey who's read one!). And I don't feel like I have time to do that.

Hmmm... is that a hidden "should" in there? Does that translate into "I SHOULD be doing something else"? Probably. Yes, I'm sure it is. I found myself "shoulding" about my teens yesterday. Next to myself, I'm probably most judgemental of them. Heavy burden for all of us!

So today is Day 6 in the 37Day challenge to change just one thing in your life. I thought I was doing well... (I'm not going to say I should be doing well...). But we sure have a lot of ways to disguise a word and the sentiment behind it.

A few times, I've wrestled with "should" and had to stop and wonder why I couldn't say, "I want to do this" or "I don't want to do this" instead of "I should...". This is usually when I need to run errands, run kids to appointments, etc. "Should" is really easy with kids: I should be a better mother, I should have more fun with my kids, I should be more patient with my kids. I've been reading Christiane Northrup's "Wisdom of Menopause", which is a great resource for both scientific and intuitive insights into "the change"... and change it is! Northrup states that when a woman enters menopause (I'm 55 and still -- occasionally -- having my cycle), her brain literally rewires itself from primarily nurturing others (the Mother mode) to focusing on herself and her desires. So even though I still have teens at home (I was 40 when we adopted our kids), my rewiring has shifted already.

Most of my artwork is about the Feminine. Mother Nature. The three stages of Woman (Maiden, Mother, Crone). The Goddess. The Moon.

From a cycle standpoint, I know I am on the cusp between Mother and Crone. If I look at the Moon Phases as a symbol, I am at the gibbous waning moon phase. Gibbous means convex on both sides. Full, but not completely full. The Full moon represents the Mother in all her pregnant and nurturing glory. This is typically during the 2os and 30s and 40s. And while we have many more women choosing to begin motherhood in their 40s, I have learned that when you have a daughter at 40, then she and you end up going through hormonal changes at the same time: her going into her menses, the mother finishing it. That can make for some intense times (especially when you're both Fire signs)!

I treasure the Feminine. I have learned how strong the Feminine is. I feel outraged whenever I hear anyone put down the strength of women. I read a great quote the other day: "We have a secret in our culture, and it’s not that birth is painful. It's that women are strong." (Laura Stavoe Harm). Whether it is observing women of courage, whether it's canning tomatoes, whether it's reading about women in history, I am a full-fledged fan of the Feminine.

And sometimes I want to celebrate the Feminine all by myself.

I just sneaked a peek at Patti's 37Day blog, and today is Day 7 (which day did I miss?!? What else am I missing?) and she writes about being selfish, doing things for ourselves. Interesting that I just flipped to that as I was going on about "shoulding" myself about the kids.

So now, I am going to curl up and read a good book. Maybe even take a nap. After I pick up Paige from school. Because I really want to.

I hope you indulge in some "self" time today of celebrating the Feminine!

Peace,

Kate

Balance and chaos

I am starting to feel a little more comfortable with blogging. My question is how do I keep up with this and leave enough time for creating art? My questions are always about balance. Whether it's working outside of the home or at home, the key is in balance. I have not created for a week or so, and I feel like a carbonated drink that has been shaken and is ready to blow! We had some chaos in our family that caused distractions from life's routines, but that has settled down some (teenagers! Need I say more?). Now I am acutely aware of the clutter and chaos surrounding me in my studio (repurposed from our living room!), so I am itching to sort and straighten so I can focus on art instead of everything trying to distract me. I also know that not only is the clutter visually distracting, but everything carries energy and too much of that can be very distracting!

I am remembering the self-defeating believe one who works in the home has to battle: that not working outside the home means I have all the time in the world to do everything (and I am a life junkie, so I want to do everything)! I am reading a wonderful book right now (ah, the time to read! What a luxury!) entitled The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women by Gail McMeekin. McMeekin interviewed about 45 creative women to glean their thoughts on how to be creative. It's a fine book, informative and thought provoking as well as offering challenges to the reader to follow through on ideas.

I am pretty avid about using highlighters when I'm reading books, and this one is already marked on every page. I relish quotes and McMeekin does, too, because she has designed the book with wide margins where she inserts wonderful quotes. Such as:

"What you love is a sign from your higher self of what you are to do." -- Sanaya Roman, writer

"One exciting aspect of the current ferment by women is the fact that as they struggle for authenticity, they simultaneously illuminate their personal creativity." -- Jean Baker Miller, women's researcher and writer

"Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes I even have trouble doing it." -- Tallulah Bankhead, actress.

And a personal favorite that I am now incorporating into my morning ritual:

"In the sacred traditions, the first thing you do in the morning is ask for blessings from the four elements: earth, air, fire, and water. Because all that you are going to do that day will change the universe." --Laura Esquivel, writer.

Above all, McMeekin affirms the power of women. YES!

Anyway, one of the statements that struck me yesterday (as I was sitting on our deck in the warm sun of early spring... yum!) was that one needs to make time to create. Creating takes time. This sounds like stating the obvious, but so often we forget this important aspect of creating. I believe that each of us is creative; however most of us don't give ourselves the time to explore that creativity. One of the things I love most about teaching/facilitating "playshops" (we're not working, we're playing... so why call them workshops?) is seeing a light go off in someone's face who didn't believe she was at all creative and finds that she has created something beautiful and uniquely hers. What a teacher's reward!

So I need to set aside blocks of time (I did up until a couple of weeks ago since leaving my day job...) for my art. To show up.

About chaos and clutter on my worktable: sometimes it's a gift because pieces of art come together (by being unceremoniously shoved out of the way in a fervor of creating something else) and serendipitously present themselves as being perfect complements and connected to each other. That's how my "Light Catcher" Angels came to be. A couple of years ago I had been working with some vintage chandelier crystals. I had some mother of pearl "leaf" beads as well as some metal face beads shoved to the side of my work space on my desk (I have lots of space, but when I don't put things from previous projects away, it becomes a very small space!). When I again moved the chandelier prisms to the side in my hurry to start yet another project, the Muse gifted me with the realization that they all belonged together; I saw all those pieces miraculously arranged so that they made angels! So chaos isn't always a bad thing; but often it is really distracting!

I have decided to include a crop circle with each posting. I am so fascinated by their creation and their exquisite imagery. I hope you enjoy them, too. When I visited two crop circles this past summer, I felt peace, healing, and bliss from the grain and earth. More about that in another post.

I hope you feel peace, healing, and bliss today!

Peace,

Kate